Kids These Days by Babblecat  

Back in my day…

“Back in my day we ate trees, we didn't grow them.” muses the great Gloomweaver one dank afternoon upon discovering that one of her most problematic children -Bob Junior- has been cultivating a garden in a part of the cave system that receives starlight. The spiderling, who is shaggy brown rather than the pitch black of his mother, waves his pedipalps at her as she inspects the miniature oak sapling which is his pride and joy.

“Your father will hear about this.” hisses the arachnid monolith. Except Bob's father will not hear about this, because Ungoliant has already eaten him.