Kids These Days by Babblecat  

New media causes brainrot

The elves continue to curse a single mother for no apparent reason. Last time it was the harp. This time they have invented a thing called ‘books’. All Ungoliant's children have fallen into the trap, sitting ‘day’ and night stock still in various corners around her home while they turn page after page of the hot new Beleriand romance called Twilight.

“Stop reading that! You're going to rot your brains! Elves do not sparkle!” she roars, when she discerns what it is they’re staring at with their many eyes.

“Spiders don't have brains.”

“Yes they do, Bob. Get a grip.”