Kids These Days by Babblecat  

Lazy

A spider of such size and malignity that it is impossible to quantify, crouchs over a child’s cot, in which lies a much tinier monster spider, which is suckling on its eight thumbs. “It's midnight, time to get up and go hunt. I require man-flesh for my lasagne.” roars the giant.

“Awww, another hour, mom.” squeaks the baby, which is nonetheless the size of a house. 

“No, full darkness fell several hours ago, and the oven has reached the proper temperature.”

“But mom, it's always dark.”

“I don’t care. It’s light enough to go hunting. Bring me man-flesh or starve.”