Kids These Days by Babblecat  

Know less

It is Learning Time With Ungoliant, Gloomweaver and Destroyer of the Two Trees of the Valar (and elves). She crouches in the most massive of her underground caverns, an immensity darker than the Void and even hungrier. Before her crouch her many thousands of half-spider, half-Maiar offspring, who are all very ignorant and in need of a decent primary education. Ungoliant has very little need for education, but Melkor once said that education is how you take control of the next generation and therefore the world’s destiny.

“Who is the elf who made the bling which Melkor stole?”

“Elrond.”

“No!”