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Preferred Name: Azh
Preferred Pronouns: they or he
Member since .
About Me
I am an avid reader and writer of queer fantasy and a long-time Tolkien nerd who recently got into the Silmarillion. Now I seem to be writing an inordinate amount of fanfiction for it, featuring an awful lot of Maglor and Sauron, because I only like trash fires. Expect lots of explorations of gender and the occasional treatise on entropy or the philosophy of science (I sunlight as a physicist.)
Mertiya (AdmirableMonster) on AO3 and my personal website, admirablemonster on Discord (usually).
Fanworks by AdmirableMonster
We are not lost in the mortal city by AdmirableMonster
Gil-galad and Círdan arrive at the Mouth of Sirion, too late.
| Major Characters: Gil-galad, Pengolodh |
| Major Relationships: Gil-galad & Pengolodh |
| Genres: Drama | Challenges: |
| Rating: Teens | Warnings: Violence (Graphic) |
| Chapters: 1 | Word Count: 1, 892 |
| Posted on | Updated on |
| This fanwork is a work in progress. |
Harp and Liar by AdmirableMonster
Stinging from his defeat in a musical competition at the Mereth Aderthad, Maglor unexpectedly makes friends with a deaf child.
| Major Characters: Maglor, Pengolodh, Salgant |
| Major Relationships: Pengolodh & Salgant, Maglor & Pengolodh |
| Genres: Family | Challenges: |
| Rating: General | Warnings: In-Universe Intolerance |
| Chapters: 1 | Word Count: 2, 773 |
| Posted on | Updated on |
| This fanwork is complete. |
Esse Nuquerna by AdmirableMonster
Nimruzimir's father interrupts him while he is reading the most recent novel in his favorite series.
| Major Characters: Original Character(s), Other Fictional Character(s), Unnamed Canon Character(s) |
| Major Relationships: |
| Genres: Crossover, Science Fiction | Challenges: Crossroads of the Fallen King, Funky 70s, Tengwar |
| Rating: General | Warnings: In-Universe Intolerance |
| Chapters: 1 | Word Count: 961 |
| Posted on | Updated on |
| This fanwork is complete. |
The Strands that Bind by AdmirableMonster
Merry Brandybuck and Estella Bolger named their first child Boromir, after the hero of the War of the Ring. But the young hobbit's dearest secret is the name she wishes she had. One quiet day, after finding an unusual necklace in the cellar, she begins to see visions of an ancient past that whisper to her of ways she might heal a poisoned pond that has never recovered since the Scouring of the Shire. Can she unlock the secrets of a long-ago chemister and his lover and find the courage to stay true to herself along the way?
| Major Characters: Original Character(s), Unnamed Canon Character(s) |
| Major Relationships: Unnamed Canon Character/Original Character, Original Character & Original Character, Sauron & Original Character |
| Genres: Science Fiction | Challenges: |
| Rating: Teens | Warnings: Creator Chooses Not to Warn |
| Chapters: 11 | Word Count: 26, 554 |
| Posted on | Updated on |
| This fanwork is complete. |
Oh where is the sun by AdmirableMonster
Lilóteo, the erstwhile Royal Physician of the Númenorean court, is waiting to be sacrificed when he receives a strange visitor.
Written for the prompt "And the Empire grows, the seeds of its glory, for every five tanks, plant a sentimental story" + manekimi's OC Death and Sauron or others
| Major Characters: Original Character(s) |
| Major Relationships: Original Character & Original Character |
| Genres: Hurt/Comfort | Challenges: |
| Rating: Adult | Warnings: Creator Chooses Not to Warn |
| Chapters: 1 | Word Count: 1, 063 |
| Posted on | Updated on |
| This fanwork is complete. |
History abandons us by AdmirableMonster
During his incarceration in Roderick Burgess' basement, Dream receives a strange, ancient visitor.
| Major Characters: Other Fictional Character(s), Lórien, Thranduil |
| Major Relationships: Lórien & Thranduil |
| Genres: Crossover | Challenges: Crossroads of the Fallen King |
| Rating: Teens | Warnings: Violence (Mild) |
| Chapters: 1 | Word Count: 980 |
| Posted on | Updated on |
| This fanwork is complete. |
Words of Wisdom by AdmirableMonster
One or more drabbles about Pengolodh and his babysitter Salgant.
| Major Characters: Pengolodh, Salgant |
| Major Relationships: Pengolodh & Salgant |
| Genres: Ficlet | Challenges: Tengwar |
| Rating: Teens | Warnings: Creator Chooses Not to Warn |
| Chapters: 4 | Word Count: 418 |
| Posted on | Updated on |
| This fanwork is a work in progress. |
Les Mots de Sagesse by AdmirableMonster
Plusieurs petites histoires qui parle de Pengolodh et Salgant pendant des moments differents.
| Major Characters: Pengolodh, Salgant |
| Major Relationships: Pengolodh & Salgant |
| Genres: Ficlet | Challenges: Tengwar |
| Rating: General | Warnings: Creator Chooses Not to Warn |
| Chapters: 3 | Word Count: 334 |
| Posted on | Updated on |
| This fanwork is a work in progress. |
Blood Ties by AdmirableMonster
A close friend of Lómion's has gone missing, and a dark creature stalks the forests of his home. When he is summoned by Nan Elmoth itself, Lómion will have to draw upon all the powers he possesses to get himself and his friend home again.
| Major Characters: Original Character(s), Anguirel, Maeglin |
| Major Relationships: Anguirel & Maeglin, Maeglin & Original Character |
| Genres: Horror | Challenges: |
| Rating: Teens | Warnings: Check Notes for Warnings, Violence (Graphic) |
| Posted on | Updated on |
| This fanwork is complete. |
The Mercy of the Fallen by AdmirableMonster
Rather than killing him, Dior curses Celegorm with his dying breath. Someone that Celegorm once helped helps him a little in turn.
| Major Characters: Original Nonbinary Character(s), Celegorm |
| Major Relationships: Celegorm & Original Character |
| Genres: Alternate Universe, Drama | Challenges: Understory |
| Rating: Teens | Warnings: Character Death, In-Universe Racism/Ethnocentrism, Violence (Moderate) |
| Chapters: 1 | Word Count: 919 |
| Posted on | Updated on |
| This fanwork is complete. |
Dirty Deeds by AdmirableMonster
A young Númenorean has a close encounter with a deity of his mother's people.
| Major Characters: Original Male Character(s), Makar, Meássë |
| Major Relationships: Meássë & Original Character |
| Genres: Horror, Suspense | Challenges: Turgon's Rock Opera |
| Rating: Adult | Warnings: Check Notes for Warnings |
| Chapters: 1 | Word Count: 1, 799 |
| Posted on | Updated on |
| This fanwork is complete. |
The Fates of Man by AdmirableMonster
Two natural philosophers struggle to warn the Faithful that the end of Númenor is approaching. But can sworn enemies find a way forward in the midst of the final tumult?
| Major Characters: Original Male Character(s) |
| Major Relationships: Original Character/Original Character, Original Character & Original Character |
| Genres: Adventure, Horror, Hurt/Comfort | Challenges: Rejects |
| Rating: Teens | Warnings: Creator Chooses Not to Warn, In-Universe Intolerance, In-Universe Racism/Ethnocentrism |
| Chapters: 1 | Word Count: 6, 451 |
| Posted on | Updated on |
| This fanwork is complete. |
Yávië by AdmirableMonster
The queen of Númenor reflects on her past and future with a strange companion.
| Major Characters: Sauron, Tar-Míriel |
| Major Relationships: Sauron & Tar-Míriel |
| Genres: Drama | Challenges: Manwë's Mailbag |
| Rating: Adult | Warnings: Check Notes for Warnings |
| Chapters: 1 | Word Count: 1, 298 |
| Posted on | Updated on |
| This fanwork is complete. |
Bearer of Chiaroscuro by AdmirableMonster
Mairon flees Angband to warn his lovers in Gondolin of the impending fall of the city.
Written for the 2022 Matryoshka Challenge (Difficult setting! :B)
| Major Characters: Unnamed Female Canon Character(s), Aredhel, Celebrimbor, Curufin, Gothmog, Sauron |
| Major Relationships: Celebrimbor/Maeglin/Sauron |
| Genres: Alternate Universe, Drama, Family | Challenges: X Marks the Spot |
| Rating: Adult | Warnings: Character Death, Check Notes for Warnings, Domestic and Partner Violence |
| Chapters: 8 | Word Count: 4, 852 |
| Posted on | Updated on |
| This fanwork is complete. |
Quilt of Growth by AdmirableMonster
Little snapshots of different worlds, for the restoration and rebuilding challenge. Written during Instadrabbling in August 2022.
| Major Characters: Original Character(s), Celebrimbor, Halbarad, Lobelia Sackville-Baggins, Maedhros, Maglor, Sauron |
| Major Relationships: |
| Genres: Ficlet | Challenges: Restoration and Rebuilding |
| Rating: General | Warnings: |
| Chapters: 4 | Word Count: 472 |
| Posted on | Updated on |
| This fanwork is a work in progress. |
A System of Messages by AdmirableMonster
A wandering storyteller meets with a group of cowboys and tells his family's history around a fire; the mysterious Center (of the system of messages, perhaps) features prominently.
For the "Western" prompt of the Also Appearing challenge with a slight admixture of something akin to "uranium mine" or perhaps "pyramids"
| Major Characters: Halbarad, Maglor |
| Major Relationships: Maglor/Halbarad |
| Genres: Alternate Universe | Challenges: Also Appearing |
| Rating: Creator Chooses Not to Rate | Warnings: Check Notes for Warnings |
| Chapters: 1 | Word Count: 1, 824 |
| Posted on | Updated on |
| This fanwork is a work in progress. |
At the Eleventh Hour by AdmirableMonster
After a fall, Elros goes into labor too early. An unexpected visitor provides succour.
| Major Characters: Unnamed Female Canon Character(s), Elros, Maglor |
| Major Relationships: Elros & Maglor |
| Genres: Drama, Family | Challenges: |
| Rating: Adult | Warnings: Violence (Moderate) |
| Chapters: 1 | Word Count: 1, 879 |
| Posted on | Updated on |
| This fanwork is complete. |
Once Upon A Time And Long Ago by AdmirableMonster
When the twins' fathers finally leave them to go after the Silmarils, Elros and Elrond decide they don't deserve to be orphaned a second time. In the midst of a great storm, though, strange magics are unleashed, and they wake up five hundred years earlier in an unsullied paradise. But dark things are stirring in Valinor, and the twins are told to tread lightly, lest they unweave their very existence.
Can they find a way to save their fathers and return to their own time, or will it all play out the same way and end in fire?
| Major Characters: Original Female Character(s), Elrond, Elros, Fëanor, Fingon, Finrod Felagund, Finwë, Maedhros, Maglor |
| Major Relationships: Elrond & Elros & Maedhros & Maglor, Fingon/Maedhros, Finrod/Maglor |
| Genres: Alternate Universe, Family, Hurt/Comfort | Challenges: |
| Rating: Teens | Warnings: Creator Chooses Not to Warn |
| Chapters: 2 | Word Count: 6, 811 |
| Posted on | Updated on |
| This fanwork is a work in progress. |
A Deed Justly Renowned by AdmirableMonster
Through snow, through ice, through ash and flame...I will always come for you, Russandol.
Fingon rescues Maedhros from Thangorodrim. It is no easy feat, for he battles not only the creatures and the hostile land, but also himself.
| Major Characters: Fingon, Maedhros |
| Major Relationships: Fingon/Maedhros |
| Genres: Drama, Slash | Challenges: |
| Rating: Teens | Warnings: Mature Themes, Violence (Moderate) |
| Chapters: 1 | Word Count: 6, 654 |
| Posted on | Updated on |
| This fanwork is complete. |
The Mystery of the Vanishing Elf by AdmirableMonster
An essay on the subject of where the hell Beleg Cúthalion gets to in the second half of The Children of Húrin. He may be dead, but why is even his memory conspicuously absent?
| Major Characters: Beleg, Finduilas, Glaurung, Nienor, Túrin |
| Major Relationships: |
| Genres: Nonfiction/Meta | Challenges: |
| Rating: Teens | Warnings: Creator Chooses Not to Warn |
| Chapters: 1 | Word Count: 2, 575 |
| Posted on | Updated on |
| This fanwork is complete. |
AdmirableMonster's Gallery
A moth, attempting escape, perhaps out of the artist's studio.
Major Characters: No major characters listedMajor Relationships: No major relationships listed
Challenge: No challenge listed
Rating: General
Warnings: No warnings listed | | |
Annatar in Mandos, as described by Fingon in Chthonion's masterful Harrowing series
Major Characters: SauronMajor Relationships: No major relationships listed
Challenge: No challenge listed
Rating: General
Warnings: No warnings listed | | |
Cover page for my Steampunk Númenor series, The Light and the Sea. Nimruzimir gazes out at Númenor from Andúnië.
Major Characters: Unnamed Canon Character(s)Major Relationships: No major relationships listed
Challenge: No challenge listed
Rating: General
Warnings: No warnings listed | | |