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Preferred Name: Azh
Preferred Pronouns: they or he
Member since .
About Me
I am an avid reader and writer of queer fantasy and a long-time Tolkien nerd who recently got into the Silmarillion. Now I seem to be writing an inordinate amount of fanfiction for it, featuring an awful lot of Maglor and Sauron, because I only like trash fires. Expect lots of explorations of gender and the occasional treatise on entropy or the philosophy of science (I sunlight as a physicist.)
Mertiya (AdmirableMonster) on AO3 and my personal website, admirablemonster on Discord (usually).
Fanworks by AdmirableMonster
The Mirror Crack'd by AdmirableMonster
Rescued from a brutal Angband hunt, an ex-thrall with a strange and powerful artifact embedded in his spine is brought to Himring, for it is one of the only places in Beleriand which welcomes such folk. Though he has no memories of his life before, Anniavas slowly becomes accustomed to his new life and finds he has a queer connection with Maedhros, Himring's lord. As their intimacy grows, however, so do the dangers surrounding them, both without and within. What secrets are hidden inside the depths of Anniavas's lost memories--and how will those with whom he is forging and deepening bonds react, when those secrets are at last revealed?
| Major Characters: Sauron, Maedhros, Fingon, Finrod Felagund, Original Female Character(s), Original Nonbinary Character(s) |
| Major Relationships: Maedhros/Sauron, Fingon/Maedhros, Celegorm/Finrod, Original Character/Original Character, Fingon/Maedhros/Sauron |
| Genres: Alternate Universe, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Slash/Femslash | Challenges: |
| Rating: Creator Chooses Not to Rate | Warnings: Mature Themes, Sexual Content (Graphic), Torture, Violence (Moderate) |
| Chapters: 1 | Word Count: 492 |
| Posted on | Updated on |
| This fanwork is a work in progress. |
The Light and the Sea (Steampunk Númenor) by AdmirableMonster
Largely focused on Númenor, its fall, and the aftermath, as seen from the perspective of two Mannish scientists, bit players in some ways, but who nonetheless cast their shadows across the history of Middle Earth.
| Major Characters: Original Character(s), Unnamed Canon Character(s) |
| Major Relationships: Original Character/Original Character, Unnamed Canon Character/Original Character |
| Genres: Science Fiction | Challenges: |
| Rating: | Warnings: |
| Posted on | Updated on |
| This fanwork is a work in progress. |
Needst Thou Ice for that Burn? by AdmirableMonster
The publication of a scandalous new novella takes the world of Númenorean literary circles by storm. But who *is* the mysterious author 'Anna'? And why did she pen such a risqué romance? Is it, as some claim, a disgusting piece of dreck that displays the degeneracy of the times? Or is it a clever social commentary hidden behind a front of taboo titillation?
| Major Characters: Original Character(s), Tar-Míriel |
| Major Relationships: Original Character & Original Character |
| Genres: Experimental, In-Universe Artifact | Challenges: |
| Rating: Adult | Warnings: Check Notes for Warnings |
| Chapters: 1 | Word Count: 1, 341 |
| Posted on | Updated on |
| This fanwork is complete. |
The Way That She Died by AdmirableMonster
Last night, the King’s Men put to death a large group of dangerous radicals in the Artists’ Quarter of Armenelos. Caught only a few hours before their planned assassination attempt on Tar-Míriel, they forced our heroic enforcers to battle for their very lives. Unfortunately, the splinter group of Faithful fanatics were unwilling to surrender peacefully. A large number of weapons, including incendiary devices, were recovered from the basement of the house in which they had been planning their cowardly and devious attack. Although all of the royal guard survived, one of their number was carried to the local hospital with severe injuries; he is expected to recover.
Citizens are asked to report any unusual activity to the King’s Men. Now, more than ever, Númenor must stand together against those who would destroy her.
—Short Bulletin in the Armenelos Times, Year 11 of the reign of Ar-Pharazôn
| Major Characters: Original Character(s) |
| Major Relationships: Original Character/Original Character |
| Genres: Experimental, Poly, Science Fiction | Challenges: Musicals, New Year's Resolution |
| Rating: Adult | Warnings: Character Death, Expletive Language, In-Universe Intolerance, Mature Themes, Sexual Content (Graphic), Suicide, Torture, Violence (Mild) |
| Chapters: 1 | Word Count: 3, 656 |
| Posted on | Updated on |
| This fanwork is complete. |
Pennas Pengolodh by AdmirableMonster
The majority of the Silmarillion was penned by a single Elf--an Elf who was so thoroughly written out as to appear only through the ways in which their perspective shaped the stories we see. This is their story, the historian's history, the Pennas Pengolodh.
| Major Characters: Pengolodh, Salgant, Gil-galad, Dírhavel, Elrond, Glorfindel, Elwing, Original Agender Character(s) |
| Major Relationships: Pengolodh & Salgant, Gil-galad & Pengolodh, Dírhavel + Pengolodh, Pengolodh/Original Character |
| Genres: Drama | Challenges: |
| Rating: | Warnings: |
| Posted on | Updated on |
| This fanwork is a work in progress. |
Under Granite Skies by AdmirableMonster
A Dwarf on vacation with their lover must contend with an unusual encounter in the middle of the night.
| Major Characters: Original Agender Character(s), Pengolodh, Original Character(s) |
| Major Relationships: Pengolodh/Original Character |
| Genres: Hurt/Comfort | Challenges: New Year's Resolution, Period Drama |
| Rating: General | Warnings: |
| Chapters: 1 | Word Count: 1, 172 |
| Posted on | Updated on |
| This fanwork is complete. |
A King in More Than Name by AdmirableMonster
Celegorm issues an invitation. Finrod takes him up on it--and proves himself the king that neither of them knew he could be.
| Major Characters: Finrod Felagund, Celegorm |
| Major Relationships: Celegorm/Finrod |
| Genres: Slash | Challenges: |
| Rating: Adult | Warnings: Sexual Content (Graphic) |
| Chapters: 1 | Word Count: 2, 539 |
| Posted on | Updated on |
| This fanwork is complete. |
The Truth of the World by AdmirableMonster
Pengolodh interviews a kinslayer.
| Major Characters: Pengolodh, Maglor |
| Major Relationships: Maglor & Pengolodh |
| Genres: Drama | Challenges: |
| Rating: Teens | Warnings: Creator Chooses Not to Warn |
| Chapters: 1 | Word Count: 1, 521 |
| Posted on | Updated on |
| This fanwork is complete. |
Eat, Drink, and Be Merry by AdmirableMonster
Scenes (often domestic, sometimes intimate) from life in Mordor from the fall of Númenor to the Last Alliance.
| Major Characters: Mouth of Sauron, Sauron, Tar-Míriel, Witch-king of Angmar, Original Character(s) |
| Major Relationships: Mouth of Sauron/Sauron, Mouth of Sauron & Original Character, Mouth of Sauron & Witch-king of Angmar |
| Genres: Drama, Fixed-Length Ficlet, Hurt/Comfort | Challenges: Great Beleriand Bake-Off |
| Rating: Adult | Warnings: Sexual Content (Graphic) |
| Chapters: 6 | Word Count: 1, 327 |
| Posted on | Updated on |
| This fanwork is complete. |
Eat, Pray, Love by AdmirableMonster
The Darkest Timeline AU for my Steampunk Númenor series.
In which the Mouth of Sauron is originally a Númenorean chemister rescued from Ar-Pharazôn's intimate attentions by Sauron himself.
| Major Characters: Mouth of Sauron, Original Male Character(s), Sauron |
| Major Relationships: Mouth of Sauron/Sauron |
| Genres: Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Science Fiction | Challenges: |
| Rating: | Warnings: |
| Posted on | Updated on |
| This fanwork is a work in progress. |
And in darkness, light by AdmirableMonster
In the wake of the Final Battle of the Last Alliance, Erestor struggles to keep moving and to reach out to friends and family.
| Major Characters: Erestor, Glorfindel, Celebrían |
| Major Relationships: Erestor/Glorfindel, Celebrían & Erestor |
| Genres: Drama, Hurt/Comfort | Challenges: |
| Rating: Teens | Warnings: Mature Themes, Violence (Moderate) |
| Chapters: 5 | Word Count: 3, 345 |
| Posted on | Updated on |
| This fanwork is complete. |
Sunset by AdmirableMonster
In the wake of the fall of Númenor, the penal colony at Andrast is liberated by Sauron's forces. One of the Historians' College of Númenor bears witness.
| Major Characters: Mouth of Sauron, Original Male Character(s) |
| Major Relationships: Mouth of Sauron/Original Character |
| Genres: Alternate Universe, Hurt/Comfort | Challenges: |
| Rating: Teens | Warnings: Creator Chooses Not to Warn |
| Chapters: 1 | Word Count: 2, 823 |
| Posted on | Updated on |
| This fanwork is a work in progress. |
Fragments discarded by Pengolodh by AdmirableMonster
Pengolodh tries to write about the kinslaying at Sirion. He fails.
| Major Characters: Pengolodh, Elwing |
| Major Relationships: |
| Genres: Experimental, In-Universe Artifact | Challenges: |
| Rating: Teens | Warnings: Creator Chooses Not to Warn |
| Chapters: 1 | Word Count: 276 |
| Posted on | Updated on |
| This fanwork is complete. |
A System of Messages by AdmirableMonster
A collection of stories set in a post-apocalyptic New Mexico AU.
| Major Characters: |
| Major Relationships: |
| Genres: | Challenges: |
| Rating: | Warnings: |
| Posted on | Updated on |
| This fanwork is a work in progress. |
Soul made of sky by AdmirableMonster
A stranger and a stranger stranger talk and dream about their fears.
| Major Characters: Sauron, Original Nonbinary Character(s) |
| Major Relationships: Sauron/Original Character |
| Genres: Alternate Universe, Hurt/Comfort | Challenges: The Only Thing To Fear |
| Rating: General | Warnings: |
| Chapters: 1 | Word Count: 734 |
| Posted on | Updated on |
| This fanwork is complete. |
My Father's Son by AdmirableMonster
Living in Menegroth, Maeglin is summoned home by his father's wife to visit him. Eöl has never been the same since Aredhel's death in childbirth many years ago, and his mental state may be poisoning the very forest around him.
But for the first time, Maeglin does not have to go alone.
| Major Characters: Maeglin, Mablung, Eöl, Original Female Character(s) |
| Major Relationships: Mablung/Maeglin |
| Genres: | Challenges: |
| Rating: Creator Chooses Not to Rate | Warnings: Check Notes for Warnings, Creator Chooses Not to Warn |
| Chapters: 2 | Word Count: 1, 782 |
| Posted on | Updated on |
| This fanwork is a work in progress. |
The Day of Doom by AdmirableMonster
Three intrepid stellar explorers witness a crack in the edge of the universe and are guided by an ancient spirit animating an automaton to a strange and unexpected place where they hope to rescue their kidnapped cat. A cat who may hold the future--or its inevitable end--in his far-too-ancient paws.
| Major Characters: Celebrimbor, Sauron, Original Character(s) |
| Major Relationships: Celebrimbor/Sauron, Original Character/Original Character |
| Genres: Folktales/Myths/Legends, Hurt/Comfort, Science Fiction | Challenges: |
| Rating: Adult | Warnings: Sexual Content (Graphic), Violence (Moderate) |
| Chapters: 2 | Word Count: 8, 711 |
| Posted on | Updated on |
| This fanwork is complete. |
Truth in Tragedy by AdmirableMonster
A short and very personal essay that is a mix of defense-of-genre-fiction and processing my relationship with my dad. Not intended to tell anyone else how to feel about the fiction they consume, just trying to sort myself out.
| Major Characters: Eöl, Denethor (Steward of Gondor) |
| Major Relationships: |
| Genres: Experimental, Nonfiction/Meta | Challenges: |
| Rating: Teens | Warnings: Mature Themes |
| Chapters: 1 | Word Count: 403 |
| Posted on | Updated on |
| This fanwork is complete. |
Lightborn by AdmirableMonster
Happened to come across this record while helping Círdan clear out his basement. Yes, I know I’m supposed to be taking a break. I find organization relaxing. Anyway, I’m sending it your way because I know what you’re like about any kind of Númenorean historical records, and this is an interesting one. Seems to be a first-person testimony, originally in Adunaic and translated into Westron, then later transcribed, with some notes from a Mannish historian post-Fall. Be warned: it isn’t light reading.
I’ll be returning in a week or two. Try not to let the library become impossibly disorganized in my absence.
—Erestor
| Major Characters: Original Character(s), Sauron, Celebrimbor |
| Major Relationships: Sauron & Original Character, Celebrimbor & Sauron |
| Genres: In-Universe Artifact, Science Fiction | Challenges: |
| Rating: Creator Chooses Not to Rate | Warnings: Creator Chooses Not to Warn |
| Chapters: 1 | Word Count: 7, 015 |
| Posted on | Updated on |
| This fanwork is complete. |
Doomed Wives (Barely Even Ghosts) by AdmirableMonster
A series of fics focused on my headcanons for the textual ghost characters of Curufin's Wife, Maglor's Wife, and Caranthir's Wife--not to be taken literally as necessarily their actual married partners (or even, in the case of Maglor's, romantically involved at all). These are just the women who slot into my head in that Legendarium role, as it were. Largely focused on Maglor's best friend and horsemaster, Hemmoril, who is very much a Horse Girl Lesbian.
| Major Characters: Original Female Character(s), Unnamed Canon Character(s), Haleth, Maglor, Caranthir, Nerdanel |
| Major Relationships: Original Character/Original Character, Maglor & Original Character, Caranthir/Haleth |
| Genres: Femslash | Challenges: |
| Rating: | Warnings: |
| Posted on | Updated on |
| This fanwork is a work in progress. |
AdmirableMonster's Gallery
A moth, attempting escape, perhaps out of the artist's studio.
Major Characters: No major characters listedMajor Relationships: No major relationships listed
Challenge: No challenge listed
Rating: General
Warnings: No warnings listed | | |
Annatar in Mandos, as described by Fingon in Chthonion's masterful Harrowing series
Major Characters: SauronMajor Relationships: No major relationships listed
Challenge: No challenge listed
Rating: General
Warnings: No warnings listed | | |
Cover page for my Steampunk Númenor series, The Light and the Sea. Nimruzimir gazes out at Númenor from Andúnië.
Major Characters: Unnamed Canon Character(s)Major Relationships: No major relationships listed
Challenge: No challenge listed
Rating: General
Warnings: No warnings listed | | |